Friday, January 6, 2017

1 John 4:19 - We love because he first loved

This post is written to record the best moment of my life.

People who has a close relationship with me might know that I have been thinking a lot these days, mainly about the issue of Christianity. In this sense, this means that in the first time of my life, I can concretely sense the existence of god and believe in God.

This new change of thinking mean Everything in my life. You have to imagine this : When you were an atheist for your whole life and until the very day you realised that God actually is the creator of this world and you are just one of His creation, I bet you would feel the most enormous change in your life. Meanwhile it represents that I am just living in a world that is not controlled by human but Him. Everything is his works! My old perception of world collapsed, the idea that insists the destiny is in man's hand means nothing to me now. One of the changes is instead of saying "believe in yourself",  now I would rather say " believe in God". Also, I start thinking about what is His propose to create me, what should I do in order to fulfil His mean as I belong to him and I am his child.

At the same time, I also feel a strong sense of loved from Him after I finished my trip in Germany and Belgium. Because He love me, love us unconditionally and by this He gave me this wonderful life. I had taken granted of all the things God had gave me for the past 21 years then I only know his existence until very recent days! THIS HAPPENED JUST IN A SHORT GLIMPSE but my recognition towards the worlds has already changed significantly.

Everything in my life means so much different now because I know my life is given by him, it is out of his love, in another way to say - I feel like I belong to Him, everything in the world belongs to Him. I have so many doubt towards my life, I wonder if I could continue live my life like the old atheist ME. So many question just popped out in my mind all of sudden and these unanswered question suffered me for days even thought my Christian friends were trying their best to solve my questions. However, other than feeling suffering, I feel so blessed and so loved too. It was the first time ever I feel so blessed because I finally know Him - the Father of everyone and everything, feel so much loved to realise the truth of everything in the world. It feel likes you finally found where you belong to, found your actual identity, found the meaning of your existence :')

It is one of the best feeling in my life. This is also the first time ever in my life I can connect myself to a bible verse unconsciously : 1 John 4:19 - We love because he first loved even though I had no much knowledge of bible. God is love, only with Him, I can feel the love from my family, my friends, and from the people around the world. I just unconsciously found this verse is the best way to describe my feeling at that moment. And here comes what sparks my huge interest towards Christianity then I decide to ask forgiveness, get rid of the self-centered life and follow the only Saviour - Jesus Christ :) I am tired of suffered by the old hyper self-centered life and that's also why I think I am unable to write my blog post in the same way I used to write.

The only thing I can say is Thank you for your love. thank you for everything that you gift us, thank you for guiding me to His arm.❤️

1 comment :