Saturday, February 25, 2017

Your grace is always sufficient for me.

Is's another day, another day graced by God and I dropped into another introspection in this wonderful day.

I remembered well how often I was reminded to remind myself about the fact that I should love myself more than enough before loving others. Before giving, thinking, helping or loving others, I should make sure that I am sufficient and completed to face every up and downs of my life. This has become voiceless reminder that grows inside my heart and reminds me since I was young.

Life is never easy, people fails, broken, hurt, disappointed all the time and So do I. As an introvert in this modern society which highly value the extrovert personality, I never have confidence enough to be the one who can care, give and love others. People here in HKU are so amazing, their ambitions and achievement effortlessly outshines me. Since leaving home and studying aboard in Hong Kong, I am so used to be the weak, timid one as I can't see any values that I can bring to others when standing among the brighting stars. I am feared that I won't be seen by anyone when being with a group of people. I am scared that I will be given cold shoulder by others if I try to reach out others and my heart will be broken by others' rejection. At the same time, I felt so bad and blame myself of being so self-fish, weak and timid, doubting that when would be the time I can be completed, am I really able to know how to love in my whole life since my countless weakness and fear has deeply rooted inside my heart.

But now, others questions start emerging in my mind. "Am I really need to be strong and perfect enough before loving others?", "Is it necessary for me to feel completed before reaching to others?"

I got the answer: no. It is no because as a sinful earthy human, I will never ever could be completed . However, if I have Jesus now, there is nothing in the world that I need to complete myself.

My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is perfected in weakness. -2: Corinthias 12: 9 

I need not to be sufficient by myself because His grace is sufficient for me; I don't need to be perfect because God is perfect to drives out my fear; I don't need to be independent and because I can always dependant on Him. So, What am I afraid of when I have already been graced by God? Why should I keep hesitating to be what God want me to do and worrying so much? No fear should hinder me and fear should not acts as an excuse for me to reach out others since  -  There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment.

Dear Lord, thank you for your unlimited grace and love, leading me one more step towards you every single day even though I am still so broken and so flawed, let the light of you spirit always be with me and take over me.

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